You Snooze, You Lose? – The American Conservative

A full week has passed since Lindsey Graham’s funeral, and the debate over whether or not President Donald Trump dozed off during the festivities has yet to subside. Claims that he did catch some Zs “spread across multiple platforms,” Snopes reports, “with videos of different lengths showing the same moment.” 

Yes, for a few seconds there, Trump can be seen to close his eyes, but anyone spinning this for political purposes should be ashamed of himself. There’s an innocent—in fact, heartwarming and inspiring—explanation. 

“President Trump was reflecting on the loss of his dear friend Lindsey Graham, for whom he had just delivered a beautiful eulogy,” the White House spokesman Davis Ingle said. “Anyone suggesting otherwise is a depraved moron.” 

Concern over presidential sleep habits has intensified in recent years, which might be expected, given the advanced years of our two most recent chief executives. Trump himself, passed which nothing gets by, noticed this in his immediate predecessor, whom he of course referred to as “sleepy Joe.” 

So hang on. The assumptions both sides in this debate bring to the topic of presidential repose demand reconsideration. If we are all weren’t not so frantic and distracted already, we caffeine-heads might have paused last month to notice that among other causes for national celebration, July 4 was also the birthday of Calvin Coolidge, “the greatest man,” as Clarence Darrow supposedly called him, “who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont.” 

Coolidge is the Rodney Dangerfield of American presidents, and this is a great injustice. Silent Cal set a fine example for his successors, not least because he didn’t blather on endlessly about things he knew little or nothing about, much less involve himself in matters best left to lower levels of government, or to free people taking action together, to sort out.

Coolidge recognized the limitations of the presidential power and respected them. This of course came naturally to the man. He was never one to overextend himself or the office. It was Coolidge, H.L. Mencken said, who turned the White House into a dormitory.

Had Coolidge faced an international crisis like the Great Depression, he would have responded as he did to any other developments, Mencken said, “by pulling down the blinds, stretching his legs upon his desk, and snoozing away the lazy afternoons.” Coolidge “slept more than any other President, whether by day or by night. Nero fiddled, but Coolidge only snored.”

We need more snoring these days, but woe betide presidents who, working all night, nod off in cabinet meetings. Critics have been feigning indignation and heartfelt concern over the claim that Trump has been falling asleep during important powwows (and what is more momentous than a press briefing?), which is ironic as well as hypocritical. Do any of these scolds actually expect us to believe they’d prefer it if DJT were wide awake? Do any of them—on either side—really want the people they are criticizing to be alert and energetic all the time? Would that help them or any of us?

In ridiculing his predecessor, Trump is merely giving voice to the conventional wisdom of esteemed presidential scholars. The ones—the presidents, not the scholars—who get us into world wars are always ranked as the “greatest,” while unobtrusive ones like Silent Cal never get the credit they deserve. 

Trump’s sleeping habits are, to be sure, unusual. He’s up all night, apparently, posting on Truth Social, and Secretary of State Marco says he gets calls from the boss at 2 o’clock in the morning. That might be why Trump appears to doze off in daytime meetings, though there are other explanations. Seth Myers says the President is “thinking so hard with his brain, it’s draining energy from his eyelids,” but this theory has not been taken seriously in academic circles.

Specialists who study these things seem increasingly persuaded that naps are good for older people. “Power naps” are highly important—especially, it must follow, for people in power. Biden was 82 when he left office, as Trump will be when his term ends. Men at this time of life, especially those bearing grave responsibilities, should sleep more, not less. We’d all benefit.

Have any members of the president’s inner circle, given all the attention to their boss’s tendency to nod off, thought of the commercial possibilities?

Trump could partner with Mike Lindell, the MyPillow mogul, whom he has already endorsed for Minnesota governor, calling him “one of America’s greatest and most hard working Patriots.” 

Trump has posted on social media, “Mike will be SPECTACULAR!!! He truly loves Minnesota, as do I, and wants to bring it back from oblivion and embarrassment. He can do it!”

Lindell has the pillow business nailed, while Trump has made untold millions selling a slew of branded products, including “Fight, Fight, Fight!” cologne, “Never Surrender” high-top sneakers (in gold), and “God Bless the USA” Bibles. The president—a teetotaler himself—has even owned a winery and sold Trump vodka.

So why don’t he and the MyPillow guy enter into a business partnership and offer a line of Trump-branded mattresses? 

And when they do, I want a percentage just for giving them the idea. 

And speaking of Calvin Coolidge’s birthday, Herbert Hoover’s is August 10. “Blessed are the young,” Hoover said, “for they shall inherit the national debt.”