Train Up a Child With Intention in a World That Wants to Take That Job From You.
I saw the following question on a friend’s Facebook page recently, and I can’t seem to shake it…
Who (or what) is guiding our boys into manhood?
Because the truth is, if we are not intentional about how we train up a child, the world will be. And it is not lacking voices ready and willing to step into that space. The question is not whether our boys will be shaped… but by whom.
Train Up a Child With Intention in a World That Wants to Take That Job From You.
To train up a child is to shape what matters most…
In character. In conviction. In truth.
We spend so much time making sure our kids are learning what they need to know.
But what about who they are becoming?
Because becoming a strong, grounded man, one who stands firm in truth…
That doesn’t just happen on its own.
It takes fathers, grandfathers, uncles, men who are willing to step in, speak up, and invest in the conversations that shape a boy’s life.
This is something we cannot afford to overlook.
If we are serious about how we train up a child, we have to look beyond academics.
TRIBESMEN: Circle of Elders, along with a companion guide designed to be used together, steps directly into this need.
Kelda Laing Poynot brings clarity to something many of us feel but struggle to articulate.
She lays out four foundational truths that reach far beyond academics… the kind that stay with a boy for life. And the companion guide helps turn those ideas into real conversations and action.
This is one of the most important book sets you can read to help start the conversations we need to be having with the men in our lives.
Trish
Train Up a Child: Four Fundamentals That Shape a Boy’s Life
As parents, how many times have we heard Proverbs 22:6?
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” KJV
But what does it actually look like to train up a child in everyday life?
We spend countless hours focusing on reading, math, and writing. We research the curriculum. We refine our methods. We pour into giving our children an excellent education.
But what does it look like to train them in virtue? What does it truly mean to train up a child in character and truth?
How do we protect their hearts from the vices that quietly compete for influence?
There are four fundamentals to a child’s education — foundations that shape far more than academics. These are the building blocks we rely on when we intentionally train up a child:
Consistency
Consistency is where parents learn the importance of follow-through. It sets the tone and pace of our homes. Predictability and steadiness create security. A consistent home builds a firm foundation beneath growing feet. This is one of the simplest, most powerful ways we train up a child.
Modeled Behavior
Our children are watching. They observe how we speak, how we respond, and how we treat others. They are taking notes — remembering far more than we realize. Modeled behavior challenges us to live what we teach, to embody the virtues we hope to see in them. Because how we live is how we ultimately train up a child.
Discipline
Discipline is more than correction. It is training, not control. It includes clear boundaries and appropriate consequences, but its goal is maturity. We are not raising them to depend on constant supervision. We are raising young men who can govern themselves with integrity and wisdom. This is the long game of how we train up a child toward maturity.
Spiritual Legacy
At the root of it all is a spiritual legacy. Our faith calls us to pass along more than knowledge, but relationship—our walk with the Lord, our reverence for His Word, and our trust in His promises. What we impress upon their hearts will guide them long after lessons and textbooks are set aside. This is the core of what it means to train up a child in the way he should go.
For many boys around age ten, there is a natural shift. They begin to lean outward, away from the nurturing presence of their mothers and toward the steady ascendancy of male influences.
This is not a rejection. It is how a boy learns to be a man, and we know the consequences when that transition lacks strong, present male leadership. Which is why how we train up a child in these years matters so deeply.
So how do we guide our sons along their journey to manhood?
Fathers, grandfathers, uncles — your voices matter.
Your presence matters.
Your example matters.
Stand in the gap.
This is part of the calling to train up a child into manhood.
You do not have to be a teacher or a preacher to shape a life. Invest your time. Share your wisdom. Offer your steady presence. It’s not a single event or conversation. It’s layers and layers on the foundations from which you want them to build. This is how we faithfully train up a child over time.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NIV
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
This is the daily, lived-out picture of what it means to train up a child.
Our sons are watching.
They are waiting for you to rise, to speak, and to lead.
And they long to hear it from you. This is how we train up a child in a way that lasts.
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